


Things I Couldn't Say

by consultingasshat



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Mentions of Mary, Nightmares, im really proud of this poem okay, poem fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 17:16:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7901104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consultingasshat/pseuds/consultingasshat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A poem about John and Sherlock and how they find each other</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things I Couldn't Say

**Author's Note:**

> written for my friend lauren (tumblr user thefaultinurmom) in repsonse to a prompt that went something like this: things sherlock didn't say but wishes he had

When John first moved back into the flat, Sherlock was careful

His steps were hushed, his voice small

He didn’t want John to 

~~abandon him~~  

l ~~eave~~  

move out again

But he messed up, he kept messing up, and he was stupid so stupid couldn’t he _see_ John’s shoulders tense up whenever his mouth tripped over itself and the word _~~Mary~~_  poured out of it like blood? 

Or how John, 

steady soldier doctor friend ~~love~~ John Watson, 

how John’s hands would start shaking when some stupid old friend who didn’t know the wrought iron stake driven through John’s life, 

mentioned his wedding? 

~~Sherlock wanted to hurt those friends~~

then the night

that Sherlock startles awake, hearing shouts ~~whimpers~~  from the room above him

John _John_ ~~someone’s hurting John~~   

Sherlock’s veins are red and blue wires in a bomb and the seconds are running out

Pounding up the steps ~~too loud~~ the door hits the wall like a gunshot 

and John 

_John_  

~~I love you~~

John’s clutching his pillow as if it’s the only thing that can keep him afloat on the waves of sobs and Sherlock is scared that if he touches John those deep blue eyes will shatter like a thousand brilliant mirrors 

but

he approaches anyways,

~~stop no he’ll never want you, you ruined everything stop~~

Mycroft’s voice isn’t important now

because Sherlock’s a pale blue moth with an outstretched hand that reaches into ~~beautiful~~ golden flax hair and a bowstring mouth that says

~~I love you~~ _I’m here_

and John’s ripping air out of the room and into his lungs and pulling Sherlock into orbit at the same time, with starfire eyes that Sherlock tries to ~~can’t~~ pull away from

and so instead Sherlock is pulling John into his arms, two bodies curled like apostrophes around each other

~~I love you~~ _was it a dream? nightmare?_

_Mary_ , John says, his words mostly air 

Sherlock’s hands trace John, his shoulders his neck his back 

~~he’ll probably never stop~~

~~I love you~~   ~~is this alright~~   _I’m here now_

John’s nose is bumping his and petal softs breaths are on Sherlocks cheek when he hears

_I know, Sherlock, you’ve always been here_

and somethings up against Sherlocks mouth something soft and gentle and  ~~John~~

Sherlock is dying he’s quite sure

why else would there be a buzzing in his ears and his hands finding John’s and holding on as though he couldn’t live without them 

~~he can’t~~

but he isn’t dead 

he knows because he’s gasping _I love you i love you I love you I love you_ and there’s music and he’s confused because _doesn’t that only happen in movies?_

but no it’s John and he’s laughing like Sherlock has given him something wonderful and beautiful and Sherlock is startled but then

he is laughing too 

and only stops in lightning fast shock when John 

~~friend~~ ~~soldier~~ the love of his life John Watson

leans down and says

_I love you too._


End file.
